Depression

Being sick for going on 6 weeks has been taking a toll on me emotionally along with physically. Even though I'm taking my Paxil, being cooped up in the house all the time and not having the energy to do anything is depressing. Last night I was pretty down. I really don't feel that I'm ready to go back to work because I won't be able to do my job efficiently. I don't want to depend on others all night, even though I know my wonderful co-workers would help me if they could. That being said... I went to occupational health on Tuesday to see if they would clear me to go back to work. I walked in the room and the nurse asked me what was going on. When I started talking (squeaking might be more accurate) the nurse backed up, actually OPENED the door and stood half in and half out of the room while she listened! Does that exude confidence that I should work around very sick patients?? Well, long story short, she told me that she couldn't clear me until my Dr. did. I went home, half relieved, half disappointed, and the spiraling downward started. I'm worried about my health and my finances. I applied for short term disability and hope to be approved quickly and receive the money soon. Please cross your fingers, pray, wish on a falling star, etc. for me.

Today I do feel a little better. My husband is very supportive which helps a LOT. If he was giving me a hard time, I would not be so hmmm upbeat? about this situation. We are both worried about bills and Christmas for the girls, but there isn't much I can do about it. All we can do is have hope that this will end soon.

As far as eating goes, I've been doing well. Hubby made chili tonight, which is higher carb than I'm comfy with, but since I'm technically on maintenance, I can have beans occasionally. I try not to do that much because of blood sugar issues, but I felt ok with having a bowl tonight. I didn't eat crackers with it, which is a HUGE accomplishment for me. I love crackers in chili and soup. I need to find a low carb option for the rare occasions when I have either of those dishes. Hmmm. Any ideas?

Exercise still is lacking. I really want to try to gain strength and endurance, but it hasn't happened yet. I hope to get some walking in tomorrow. I keep saying that every day and haven't done it yet, but I'm doing the best I can. No.. that's not true. Sometimes I'd just rather be lazy (and warm) and not get out there and just do it. I'm gonna try again tomorrow. Even if I can only make one lap around the parking lot, or 10 minutes on the treadmill (depending on where I go) that's better than nothing. What are you doing tomorrow to reach your goals?

Until later...