ENT in the morning

I have to go to the ENT doctor in the morning. I admit, I'm very nervous about what's going to happen and what he's going to say. I'm usually ok about Dr appointments, but this one is getting to me.

In case you're new around here, here's a quick recap...

On Oct. 23rd I came down with a cold, including laryngitis. That turned into bronchitis. I was VERY weak and fatigued, had shortness of breath, and a cough. After the cold symptoms disappeared, I still had the weakness, shortness of breath, and laryngitis. My lungs were clear on xray and I had very little wheezing, but for me to walk to the kitchen to get a drink wore me out. It was awful!! I went to my family Dr several times, then to the pulmonologist a few times. Last week he referred me to the ENT for my laryngitis since the other symptoms are gone now. Yes, that's right.. I haven't had a full voice for over 3 months!! It's crazy.

So tomorrow I go see what the ENT Dr has to say. I don't know if they're going to scope me to look at my vocal cords tomorrow or not. I'm assuming that's what they'll do to see what's going on. That's what the Pulmonary Dr said too. I just don't know when to expect it and I think know that's part of why I'm so anxious. Then of course, there's the thought of some camera on a tube being shoved up my nose. Yeah.. so not ok with that!

Being a nurse (and even beforehand) I've always been a pretty good patient. I'm friendly and try to do what I'm told (assuming I agree with it. You have to advocate for yourself!) But I swear they may have to knock me out. lol I had a flu test done once. The kind where they stick a culture stick up your nose, past the point where anything should go, and omg that was terrible! Of course, I had another kind done during this most recent fiasco when they had to flush saline up both sides and back out. I guess it was like how a netti pot would be. I personally don't see how anyone could do that to themselves! Fluids shouldn't go up your nose. They just shouldn't. Sorry.. got kind of off track there.

Being anxious, I'm feeling munchy. I'm NOT hungry and I know that, but I sure wanna munch. Stupid emotional eating. There's no junk food in the house, but there are things that are too high carb for me, even though they are healthy. Like that banana that's calling me. I love banana and peanut butter. Technically I could have half, but even though I'm on maintenance and can have higher carb stuff in moderation, I try to stay away from it for blood sugar reasons. I decided to have celery and peanut butter (and some with whipped cream cheese) instead. Go me! =) Good thing I don't have any nuts. I'd eat the whole jar. And THAT'S why I didn't buy them. I usually do ok with them, but last time I went overboard. Figured I needed a break from them.

Ok.. I think I'm gonna take a xanax and just try to relax and not think about tomorrow. I'll update sometime after the appointment. Please send me good vibes! I don't want any bad news. I really don't know WHAT I want them to tell me, because if they don't find anything, that would suck too. lol