LC Thanksgiving dinner

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Old blog

I was signing in earlier to post my previous post, and I accidentally put the wrong email address in the box. It logged me into a blog that I had started a few years ago. Very interesting to read now. If I can figure out how to merge the two, I'll do that, but for now if you want to see it here is the address...

Old Blog

It reminded me that I NEED to stick with eating right. Otherwise I'll just end up regaining the weight I have lost and have to start over. I definitely do not want to do that! I have bad days sometimes and fell off the wagon for a little while, but overall I think it's going to stick this time. Yay!! =)

EDIT... wooo hooo!!! I imported the old blog so now the posts are on this one. Sweet! Just click the "older posts" link and there they are, just before the first one this year. Gotta love technology!

Depression

Being sick for going on 6 weeks has been taking a toll on me emotionally along with physically. Even though I'm taking my Paxil, being cooped up in the house all the time and not having the energy to do anything is depressing. Last night I was pretty down. I really don't feel that I'm ready to go back to work because I won't be able to do my job efficiently. I don't want to depend on others all night, even though I know my wonderful co-workers would help me if they could. That being said... I went to occupational health on Tuesday to see if they would clear me to go back to work. I walked in the room and the nurse asked me what was going on. When I started talking (squeaking might be more accurate) the nurse backed up, actually OPENED the door and stood half in and half out of the room while she listened! Does that exude confidence that I should work around very sick patients?? Well, long story short, she told me that she couldn't clear me until my Dr. did. I went home, half relieved, half disappointed, and the spiraling downward started. I'm worried about my health and my finances. I applied for short term disability and hope to be approved quickly and receive the money soon. Please cross your fingers, pray, wish on a falling star, etc. for me.

Today I do feel a little better. My husband is very supportive which helps a LOT. If he was giving me a hard time, I would not be so hmmm upbeat? about this situation. We are both worried about bills and Christmas for the girls, but there isn't much I can do about it. All we can do is have hope that this will end soon.

As far as eating goes, I've been doing well. Hubby made chili tonight, which is higher carb than I'm comfy with, but since I'm technically on maintenance, I can have beans occasionally. I try not to do that much because of blood sugar issues, but I felt ok with having a bowl tonight. I didn't eat crackers with it, which is a HUGE accomplishment for me. I love crackers in chili and soup. I need to find a low carb option for the rare occasions when I have either of those dishes. Hmmm. Any ideas?

Exercise still is lacking. I really want to try to gain strength and endurance, but it hasn't happened yet. I hope to get some walking in tomorrow. I keep saying that every day and haven't done it yet, but I'm doing the best I can. No.. that's not true. Sometimes I'd just rather be lazy (and warm) and not get out there and just do it. I'm gonna try again tomorrow. Even if I can only make one lap around the parking lot, or 10 minutes on the treadmill (depending on where I go) that's better than nothing. What are you doing tomorrow to reach your goals?

Until later...

Thanksgiving

So how did your Thanksgiving go? I did very well. I made a totally low carb meal (with mashed potatoes and Stove Top for the hubby) and it was delicious! The highest carb item I made was a yam/potato fluff kinda thing. Here was my menu:

Turkey with homemade gravy
Sausage and herb "dressing"
Homemade green bean casserole
Homemade cranberries
Yam/ potato fluff
Mock and cheese
Pumpkin pie

My daughters especially liked the dressing. So did I. I think I'm going to make that a regular side dish from now on. I was able to eat a whole plate and not have the bloated, blah, sleepy feeling afterward. It was fabulous! I found most of these recipes online. Google is a wonderful thing. =) If you ever have a craving for something, just search... keeping in mind that your idea of low carb may be different than somebody else's. You can always adapt the recipe too. Add or subtract ingredients. For example, I added green peppers to the dressing. The recipe I was using didn't call for it, but I remembered seeing it in a different recipe. The yam dish was a combination of a couple recipes too.

I was worried about how my meal would turn out. I feared that I would feel like I was missing out, but I was surprisingly pleased with the results. My favorite part of the meal has always been dressing, whether it was Stove Top or homemade, I love it. I think I get that from my uncle. He always got his own big bowl of it. I sure do miss him. Anyway.. the recipe I made today didn't have any bread in it, but it was delicious. Next time I'm gonna double it so I can have lots of leftovers. I also found a recipe for LC bread to use in dressing. I may try that sometime too. My point to this rambling is that although I LOVE my mom's dressing, I have found a new one to love and I don't feel deprived in any way. There are so many recipes out there that you can make as alternatives to your high carb favorites. Granted, some may not taste exactly the same, but maybe you will find a new favorite! The key to making a diet change work is to experiment. Try new foods, new recipes. Keep your mind open. I have tried veggies that I've never had before and found that I enjoy them. Even if you don't love something the first time, try cooking it in a different way and see if you like that. My girls love the way I cook cabbage, but don't like the way my mom does. Mix things up. Keep it interesting and you won't get bored. ;-)

As far as my sickness goes.. I'm still not great. The hubby and I went to the store to get the ingredients for dinner and just walking around the store totally wore me out and made me start coughing. Ugh. I need to work on getting my strength back. (My voice would be nice too!) I might try to go to the gym and walk slowly on the treadmill tomorrow. I don't want to push it, but maybe a little bit of exercise that I can control would be good. Might try a cycle around the weight machines too. I don't know what else to do. My job can be crazy sometimes and I run around like a chicken with my head cut off. I'm not able to do that right now, but I HAVE to get back to work! Gonna give the light exercise thing a shot and see what happens. Wish me luck!

Falling down

I am still sick. Two trips to the Dr. A trip to the ED. Lots of different meds. I am still sick. I don't feel like I'm ever going to get better. Yes, I do feel somewhat better than when this first started. I don't have the head congestion or upset stomach. My cough is better, but still there. My throat still hurts occasionally, but not constantly, but my voice is still gone. Four weeks of not having a voice is really getting old. I still get short of breath if I'm too active. I'm very fatigued and weak. The PA in the ED gave me Advair. It causes me to tremble/shake. It kind of scares me, but if it will help me get over this, it's worth it. I've missed a lot of work. I feel like my coworkers think I'm being a slacker, even though they can hear and see that I'm not well. All of this has caused me to feel depressed. I'm still taking my Paxil, but being cooped up in the house and not feeling well is getting to me. I just want to get back to normal. My eating has slipped some. I can't seem to get back to 100% low carb. I'm working on it. Hopefully I can make it to work tomorrow. Maybe if I can handle my usual schedule, even if not totally, I will start to feel more upbeat. More normal. I just need some normal.

My life is not exciting, but I enjoy it. I have great family, friends, and coworkers. I appreciate all the concern they have given me over the past several weeks. I feel like I am letting them down because I can't pull my own weight. My husband has been fantastic. He's cooked and taken me to the Dr and just taken care of me in general. He's worried about me and our finances, as am I. I HAVE to get better. I HAVE to work. There is no choice, but I can't physically handle 12 hours on my feet.. running around taking care of others. I can't speak loudly to the older patients that are hard of hearing. I'm so frustrated and worried. What if I never get better? What if there is a more serious reason that I'm still having problems? The chest xray came back negative so I'm assuming there's no cancerous mass in my lungs (which I was worried about) but what if something else is wrong? I feel like I'm on an episode of Mystery Diagnosis. The trip to the ED was good and bad. Good because it wasn't pneumonia, but I didn't really get any answers either. "You had an infection and it's just gonna take some time to get over. Get some rest and quit smoking. Rest your voice. Take this Advair and finish your antibiotics and use your Albuterol inhaler." Thanks. Sigh. Ok.. I'm done rambling and whining now. Hopefully my next post will be more positive.

Back to work tomorrow

I'm finally going back to work. Of course, this is a week that I signed up for an extra shift too. Great. My wallet needs it, but I'm worried about how my body will handle it. I still get short of breath with too much activity, but I'll do the best that I can. I'm lucky to work with some great people that help others if needed. We have some fabulous team work in my unit.

I'm hoping that getting back to my normal schedule will help me get back on track with eating and exercise. There is an exercise challenge at work that starts tomorrow (today) so that should be motivational. I'm going to try to go to the gym every day that I'm off. My plan is to do 30-60 minutes of cardio and a cycle of the weight machines that I do. I need to get back to strength training. I had gotten out of the habit and was only doing cardio. I need to do both. I'm also thinking about walking a little when I get home from work in the mornings. I usually don't go straight to bed. Often I come home and check email, facebook, and all that other stuff so I could take a few minutes away from that and take a quick walk around my apartment complex. We'll see how it goes. I was up a couple pounds yesterday.. probably water retention, but I don't like it and need to get on top of it before it continues to go up. My jeans were snug and made me feel icky. I don't like icky.

I was reading a blog the other day and the lady was talking about vision boards and 101 in 1001. I'm thinking about doing both of those. I need some "feel good" inspiration in my life. I've fallen into a rut and need something to break it and keep me going. A vision board is where you take words or pictures from magazines or whatever and post them to a posterboard or cork board. These are things that you want in your life. I think it would be pretty cool to do. 101 in 1001 is a to do list of 101 things to do in 1001 days. Things you want to accomplish. Places you want to go. Stuff like that. I'm a huge list maker, so that's right up my alley. I found a site to make lists online so I may use that, or maybe I'll just do it in a Word document. First I need to get some ideas. 101 things is a LOT!

Has anybody done either of these things? Any suggestions?

Will it ever end?

So.. I am STILL sick! I've missed most of the past 3 weeks of work. Much of my time has been sitting on the couch watching tv or messing around on the computer because I get really short of breath if I try to do too much. It really sucks. It's funny how when I can't exercise, I want to. I would give anything to have gone to the gym while I've been out. I've had plenty of time to do it, but the feeling that I might die kept me at home. lol

I went to the Dr. last week and got several meds.. an antibiotic, inhaler, cough syrup, and steroids. I took everything like I was supposed to, but still didn't feel much better so I went back this week. They started me on a second round of antibiotics (a different one) and told me to keep using the inhaler as needed. FINALLY today, I feel a little better. I hope this is going away and not just another false hope day. Over the past 2 weeks, I've had a couple days or hours where I felt better, but then I went back downhill again. Keeping my fingers crossed.

I have the best friends in the world! Many of them have showed concern and checked up on me while I've been out of work. That absolutely means the world to me. I'm so grateful to be surrounded by such wonderful people.. at work and outside of work. I'm a lucky girl. =)

As far as eating goes, I've only been at 90-95% lately. It's getting way too easy to cheat and I need to get strict again. I haven't had full meal cheats, but bites of this and that and a few sugary desserts. Afterward I feel like crap and wonder why I keep doing it! *Idiot* I want my next A1c to be good! I want it to show me how well low carbing works. My fasting blood sugars have been good (except when I was on Prednisone because that raises it) so I am hopeful. Surely it HAS to be better than my last one. Eek! Starting now I'm back on track. No bites. No desserts unless they are LC. I'm not where I want to be and those things are not helping. I'm done.

I'm not sure how much exercise I can do without losing my breath and having a coughing fit, but I'm going to try to at least get outside and walk a little tomorrow. I'll keep my route short in case I need to come home, but I have to do something! I feel like a big ol blob for sitting on my ass for 3 weeks.

I've been reading a couple blogs lately. They are very motivating. This one.. Escape from obesity was so inspiring that I went back allllll the way to the beginning and read to present day. I highly recommend it. The other one.. Skinny Emmie I just started and I'm reading it backwards, but I'm hooked on it too. Take a look at them and let me know what you think.

Ok.. I'm gonna get back to reading blogs and hit the sack soon. Have a fabulous day! =)

Not down with the sickness

I have been sick for over a week. It's really getting old! It started with a sore throat and upset tummy. Then came head congestion. Then stuffy nose and cough. I think it's turned into bronchitis. Great. I tend to get that pretty easily. I have since I was a kid. Oh.. and this whole time, my voice has been gone. Ugh! I've done fairly well with my eating. The first few days, I didn't eat much because it hurt to swallow and my upset tummy didn't want it anyway. I have had a few carby things.. saltine crackers, a few pieces of Halloween candy, chili with beans (which technically I can have since I'm on maintenance, but it still feels like cheating. lol) I made a delicious chicken/veg soup and have had several bowls. With a couple of bowls, I've added a few crackers, but it's good without too. I'm hoping to make it to the Dr or CVS Minute Clinic tomorrow. I need an antibiotic and maybe an inhaler too. That's helped before. We'll see.

Here's what I did for the soup...

Put 3 chicken breasts in crock pot. Added chopped celery, broccoli (frozen), can of green beans. (Wanted to add cabbage but the pot was too small.) Added water, spices, and chicken bullion cubes that I had heated in the microwave to dissolve the cubes. Cooked on low all day.

Now.. the broccoli pretty much dissolved by the time it was done so I would suggest adding it later. lol The next day, I boiled some cabbage and broccoli until soft and added it to the soup from the crock pot. Very good! My daughter said "I have to be honest. This doesn't look good (the broth turned green) but it sure is tasty." That's good enough for me. =)

Carb Overload

Last week we had a goodbye party for someone at work. She is leaving to take another position and will be very missed. =( Anyway, everyone brought in food.. chicken pie, meatballs, fruit/veggie tray, cake, blueberry crisp, etc. I thought, well I've been good, I'll just have a little bit of what I want. That would've been fine except I wanted everything! All of my little bits of this and that turned into a full plate. I checked my blood sugar before eating. 131. After eating? 390! Holy crap! I felt awful. Took some insulin and get it down to 214 the last time I checked. Lesson learned. I didn't really have any cravings, but I did notice that I stayed hungrier for the next few days than I had been. I was surprised that my weight didn't go up from water retention, but I won't risk it again. I just can't do that to myself. I love the way LC makes me feel and I love myself too much to destroy my health anymore. A BITE of this or that now and then.. fine. But no more going overboard. So not worth it.

Size 8

I didn't realize it had been so long since I made a post. Oops. I am really trying to get better at doing this.

On Saturday, I weighed 131. Yay!! Each pound I lose is the lowest I've weighed in over 10 years probably. I'm one pound away from my goal of 130, although I wouldn't mind seeing 120's on the scale again. ;-)

One day last week I tried on my daughter's size 7 jeans just for fun. I wanted to see how far I had to go before I could fit into them. Joke was on me... They fit! Well.. they fit in the sense that I could get them on. There was pudge hanging over the top that should not be seen by human eyes, but the fact that I got them on was so exciting! So Friday, when my husband, my best friend, and I went out to dinner (bff and I got the salad bar and mini burgers sans bun) and went to Old Navy afterward, I wanted a new pair of jeans. I took a pair of 10's and a pair of 8's to the dressing room. The 10's fit (that's what I have been wearing) but were a little loose. The 8's fit, but had a little pudge, though not as bad as my daughter's 7's. I ended up getting the 8's because I didn't want to buy the 10's and shrink out of them. I can wear a shirt with the 8's that isn't form fitting and they look great! Plus it gives me the motivation to tone up my mid-section. The next day my bff and I went to the mall again. I bought some dress pants because I don't have any that fit. I got 2 pairs.. one in a 9 and one in a 7. I can not explain just how happy this makes me. One of my goals was to fit into 8's again and even though I still have some work to do, I did it! If I can tone up my middle, I may even get into 6's one day! I can't imagine what that would be like. I've never worn 6's! Even in high school when I thought I was fat (at 5'8'' and 125) I wore 8/9's. Amazing!

This morning I had flaxcakes and cottage cheese for breakfast. Yum! I'm not sure what I'll have for the rest of the day, but you can bet it'll be low carb and delicious! =)

I also wanted to add that I went to the Dr last week to get some prescriptions refilled. He was very impressed with my weight loss and choice to do low carb because of my diabetes. I got my new medications and they drew blood. My A1c came back high.. at 8.5 but some of the last few months I was totally off the wagon and not taking my insulin either. I've been strict since Sept 6th (except for 1 meal) so I'm going to get another A1c done in late November or early December and see what a difference it makes. My fasting blood sugars for the past week have been in the 80's and 90's so I'm very anxious and excited to see what it will be.