Better night

Tonight was a better night. The day started out kinda crappy because I had to get up early and go by Occupational Health and went through a bunch of junk there and I have to get up early tomorrow to deal with the same junk, but I'm much better emotionally right now. I had a good night working my 6 hours. I'm pretty tired, but hoping that as I get well physically and get back into working, that I'll get used to it again and won't be so tired. Talking so much really wears me out. I can tell that I strain a lot more than I used to do. I still have a lot of work to do on my voice, but hope to get better quickly. *crossing fingers*

I ate well before work, but on the way home I was SO hungry and knew I didn't have anything to eat at home, so I stopped and got a burger and fries. Ugh. My eating is so off lately. I do good for a meal, then bad, then good... I need to get back on track and stay there. I had been really good at logging my food in a notebook and it kept me motivated. Gotta get back to that.

I haven't gotten any "formal" exercise this week, but work is busy and I'm constantly on my feet and walking and pulling and all that other nursey stuff so it's better than sitting on my butt all night. It might not sound like much, but after I graduated school and started working, I lost 15 pounds without changing anything else. Nursing is a very physical job and although it doesn't take the place of planned exercise, it does help to keep me active. Gotta work out my gym routine too. I just got my schedule for the next 6 weeks so I'm gonna try to sit down and plan out my exercise. Schedule it like appointments and see how well that works. It's a process... lol Right now I just have a calendar for work nights and appointments, but I think I might try to write in my exercise days and times too.

Ok.. off to bed so I can get up early and take care of big company politics. Sigh. Hope everyone has a great day!

How do you plan your exercise? Do you have it all written out or just wing it? 
Do you have a fitness/diet log and if so, what do you use? (I just ran across Fitbook and found it interesting. I might try to get one for me and the Junior one for my daughter that wants/needs to lose some weight. I think she would enjoy doing that with me.)

Back to work

I went back to work tonight for the first time in months. It was a little overwhelming, but I'll be back in the swing of things in no time. I only worked my 6 hours and I'm glad because I do NOT want to go backwards, healthwise. The thing that bothered me was that a few people had attitudes toward me. I just don't get it. I didn't enjoy being out of work for so long or feeling like crap or going to so many doctor appointments. I wouldn't wish any of the past few months on anyone. I was glad to be back! I mean.. it's work, ya know, but I was still glad that I was healthy enough to go back. I try not to let what others think bother me, but I have to work with these people and I hate feeling the way I do right now. I'm mad and hurt. Blah. It just reconfirms how much I want to find a new job. I love most of the people I work with and that's what has kept me where I am, but I'm so ready for a change. I just don't like it and I'll be damned if I'm going to spend a day more than I have to being miserable. I love nursing, but not where I am. Especially now... why would I want to work somewhere, where people that should be glad I'm back, give me looks and make smartass comments. I hope they never have to go through serious health problems, and until they do, they need to NOT f'n judge me. Yeah.. I'm mad.

Normal life.. maybe?

Last Thursday I went into work to do some education on things that had changed since I have been out of work. I wasn't feeling well, but wanted to get it out of the way because I am going back to work this week. Yep.. finally! I'm still not 100% since getting this recent cold, but I do feel a lot better. At the advice of my nurse educator, I had the Dr write me a note to work 6 hours per shift, instead of 12, this week so I don't have a relapse (hopefully!) Luckily, I am able to do this because for the next 2 weeks I will be on "orientation" with another nurse to get back into the swing of things before I'm on my own again.

I'm nervous about going back. I'm glad, but things change quickly around there and I'm afraid I'll be too far behind. I'm also worried about a few of my coworkers that probably think badly of me for being out so long. I wish they understood that I didn't enjoy being out for so long. I didn't WANT to be broke or not be able to walk without being winded or have a tube shoved up my nose and down my throat to look at my vocal cords. I didn't enjoy any of that. I would've rather been miserable at work like the rest of them. lol But I guess I can't worry about what others think. I had to do what was best for me.

I've gotten really behind in blogging and reading other blogs. I think part of the reason is that I haven't been doing so good at eating or exercising. I haven't been motivated and didn't feel like writing. I didn't fall off the wagon, but I'm not the driver right now either. Starting tomorrow, I will get back on it. Maybe getting back to "normal" life will help. Summer will be here before I know it and I want to wear a bathing suit and look the best I can when I go to the beach! I don't want to look back at all the time I wasted. So I will STOP the cheat meals and snacks and bites. I will START exercising regularly again. I enjoy it, but it's so hard to get back into when I've been out of the routine. It's been nicer outside lately, so that does help. I'm going to have to figure out how to work exercise into my work schedule again. I had gotten used to just doing it when I felt like it because I didn't have anything to work around. I need to do it though. No excuses!

I'm gonna try to catch up on some of your blogs now. I feel so out of the loop! lol Send me good thoughts tomorrow night! =)