101 in 1001

I think goals are important. They give you motivation and something to reach for, something to look forward to. That's why I decided to sign up for this...

day zero project

The basic idea of this project is to make a list of 101 things to do in 1001 days (2.75 years.) I found it very interesting (and difficult!) to come up with that many goals. Some are simple, some harder and more time consuming. Some are aimed at health, some personal enrichment, some silly, but they are ALL things I want to do.

The goals must be (as I learned in nursing school..) SMART.

Specific
Measurable
Attainable
Realistic
Timed

For example.. No tv for a week or exercise at least 60 minutes, 3 times a week for a month.

From the website:

"Why 1001 Days?
Many people have created lists in the past - frequently simple challenges such as New Year's resolutions or a 'Bucket List'. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organizing and timing some tasks such as overseas trips, study semesters, or outdoor activities."

Makes sense to me! I challenge you (if there is anyone out there reading this!?) to make your own list. Even if you don't do 101, give it a shot and let me know what you think about it. =)

Here's a story I just need to share too because it's WEIRD! I made my list last Friday. One of the goals on my list was to get back in touch with a friend that I haven't talked to in several years. She lives in another state where I used to live. We were bff's in high school when I was there. We had a misunderstanding in 2002 and lost touch. I have searched online for her many times, in many places (myspace, google, facebook, etc.) but never could find her. The DAY AFTER I made my list, SHE found ME on Facebook!! I seriously about fell over when I saw that notification. lol I told her about my list. She said that the day before (the day I made the list) she had been thinking about trying to find me and couldn't get it out of her head. The next day she searched and found me. Amazing! Maybe it's coincidence. Maybe it's fate. Maybe it's some odd connection that we have. I don't know, but I think that list has power!! haha

Have a fabulous day!

Fluctuations

I hate weight fluctuations! They are so aggravating. The last few weeks, my weight has been up and down.. only by a few pounds, but I still hate it. I'm getting ready for TOM so that probably has something to do with it. Also last night I had a little rice. I'm not beating myself up over it though. I know the weight will come back off. I'm sure that being stuck inside for weeks at a time hasn't helped either. I'm trying to get up and do more little things. It's not much, but it's better than sitting on the couch. Other than the rice and a cookie that my husband baked, I've done very well with my eating. My blood sugars are good. I feel good in that respect.

I can't remember if I said this already, so forgive me if this is a repeat, but I went to the Dr on Friday. He wants me to continue my Advair and Albuteral inhalers and gave me a 3rd antibiotic that's in a different class of the ones I took previously. My husband says he has a good feeling about this one. God bless him. lol I'm trying to continue the Advair, but it gives me tremors SO bad! I can't stand it. They are annoying and wear me out even more. I think I'm gonna stop. It doesn't seem to be helping anyway. I also have a referral to a Pulmonologist so hopefully he'll be able to fix me! Cross your fingers. I don't have an official appt. yet though. I'll find out soon.

Ok.. Here are the last few Reverb10 prompts...

Dec. 5 Prompt: Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?

I let go of some bad habits. Even though some of the changes are waning right now, I still am better off than I was at the beginning of 2010.

On Feb. 28th I began Atkins (for the umpteenth time since 2003) but was determined to stick with it. Each time I started previously, I weighed more than the last time. This time I started at 153 lbs. I had previously lost 15 lbs. from graduating school and starting work. That was my highest weight ever 168. I was NOT happy at that weight. Anyway, I restarted Atkins. My goal was to be 135 by June 3rd because that's when my best friend and I were going to the beach. I knew I probably wouldn't be bikini ready, but I would feel better than I did the year before at 168! I hit goal at 134.5 on May 28th!! Exactly 3 months after I started and just before we left for the beach. I was SO happy!!

After the beach trip, I fell off the wagon a little bit, then fell totally off. I quit eating right. Quit going to the gym. Quit drinking water. I only gained a few lbs. back, thankfully, but I felt bloated and terrible. My blood sugars were high again and I had no energy. It took me until Sept. 6th to get back on track, but I've been good with my eating since then (for the most part. I have little cheats now and then, but they haven't knocked me off track.) I still need to get the exercise back in, but being sick hasn't helped my energy levels. It's a goal though. I've noticed that since I've quit formally exercising, I just *look* flabbier, even though I haven't gained weight. In fact, I'm a few pounds lighter than I was before. I had gotten down to 129. Today I was 132. My new goal is actually 128 so that I can say I've lost 40 pounds even. =) Actually I don't care what the scale says if I'm happy with how I look. If I put on several pounds of muscle, I know my scale weight will go up, but I'm ok with that, because I'll be trimmer, more fit, and probably smaller too. That's my true goal.

So I have let go of eating crappy foods, being lazy, and feeling bad about myself. I've worked on emotional status and feeling better with normal blood sugars. I'm still a work in progress, but it's going well. =)

Dec. 6th Prompt: Make. What was the last thing you made? What materials did you use? Is there something you want to make, but you need to clear some time for it?

I love crafty stuff. My grandma was a HUGE craft person and my mom is too. I think that's where I got it from. My grandma had a large craft room. I could spend hours in there! My sister and I used to spend a lot of Friday nights with her while my parents bowled in their league. All year round, we would make crafts to give as Christmas gifts. I loved it and miss her SO much!

Several years ago I started crocheting blankets for my daughters. I finished one of them, but not the other one. I told my daughter that I would work on it and finish it as soon as possible. One day I pulled it out to work on it and it smelled awful! I think one of the cats sprayed on it or something. Ugh. That smell is so hard to get rid of. Since I really wasn't that far along with the blanket, I just tossed it and decided to make her a new one. I still haven't started it! It eats at me whenever I think about it. I feel terrible. She's graduating high school this year and although we're not sure about where she's going to college yet, if she moves out, I'd like for her to be able to take it with her. I'm not sure if I have the yarn to start it, but while I'm out of work, I'd like to get going on it. I need to drag my yarn out and see what I can do. I hope I have something to work with because I can't really afford yarn right now. There is something else I'd like to do. I saw this idea on a message board that I visit. A lady was quilting (or crocheting granny squares, I can't remember) for each pound she lost. When she reached goal, she was going to make a blanket from her squares. I thought that was an awesome idea! Everytime she looks at it, she'll be reminded of how hard she worked and how far she's come. I want to make granny squares and can do that with miscellaneous yarn. That may end up being what I do, even though right now I'd rather make my daughter's blanket. I just want to do something productive with my time off.

Dec. 7 Prompt: Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011? 

I think a lot of my community feeling has come from the internet. In my outside life, I don't seem to have a lot of time to get involved in much. Maybe it's because I don't put myself out there, but that's a whole 'nuther story. lol 

Atkins Diet Bulletin Board 

I go here a lot. I first found it in 2003 and it was crazy busy! Things have slowed down quite a bit, but I still go here for motivation. I offer advice when I can, but I also read a lot. When I read things about low carb, I tend to be more inspired and motivated to stick with it.

Facebook 

Facebook has been a BIG part of me reconnecting with old friends and new ones alike. I also subscribe to some low carb people. I know some people are against facebook, but I keep most of my information private or only available to friends and I don't add people that I don't know. 

Other than that, I enjoy reading other people's blogs. Some of their stories are truly amazing. I find a lot of inspiration in them. In some way, even though I'm not really "friends" with them, I feel a sense of kinship with them by reading their posts. 

What are some of your favorite places to visit? Blogs, message boards, websites? I'm always looking for new places. 

Snow :)

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Snow!

Today we got the first snow of the year! I love snow. Growing up in Montana may have something to do with that. lol Here in NC, we don't get JUST snow very often. Usually it's mixed with ice, sleet, or rain. I feel so relaxed sitting here and watching it fall. My motto is.. I hate cold, but if it's gonna be cold it might as well snow so it's pretty. =) Last night I got to hang out with a friend that I haven't seen in a while. It was very cool. Then for it to snow today was the perfect ending to that reunion. I tried to catch snowflakes on my tongue, but got more in my eyes than anywhere. I twirled around in the falling snow like a little kid. There's just something about snow that is magical to me. The only time I don't like it is when it interferes with plans or I have to work. Other than that.. Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow! =)

This is today's Reverb10...

Prompt: Wonder. How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year?

I just don't have anything for this one. If I think of something, I'll come back and answer it. 

#Reverb10

I have decided to participate in Reverb10. If you want to check it out, go here..

Reverb10

Basically, it's a daily question each day in December that causes you to think about the past year and next year and write about it. I don't know if I will do every day because of time or interest in the question, but we'll see. Here are my answers to the past couple of days (since I'm behind.)

December 1 – One Word. Encapsulate the year 2010 in one word. Explain why you’re choosing that word. Now, imagine it’s one year from today, what would you like the word to be that captures 2011 for you?

Moody. 2010 has been a year of great ups and downs. I have felt vibrant, happy, successful, motivated, inspired, sad, worried, sick, tired, depressed, and shocked. 

I have faced things I never thought I would face. I have lost weight and become healthier. I've been sick and out of work. I've started working on my own as a nurse. I went to the beach with my best friend and had a blast. I've made new friends. I've had financial ups and downs. I've watched my oldest daughter drive away in her car for the first time. I've seen my youngest daughter become a middle schooler. I could go on and on...

For 2011 I hope my word will be successful. I want to achieve my fitness goals. I want to achieve my financial goals. I want to enjoy every day.

December 2 – Writing. What do you do each day that doesn’t contribute to your writing — and can you eliminate it?

I'm actually going to change this to what doesn't contribute to my health/weight/fitness goals and what can I do to fix it?

1. Smoking. I REALLY need to quit. I have a box of Chantix sitting right there ---> that I need to start. I've smoked off and on (mostly on) since I was 15. It's past time to quit! That's one of my big goals.

2. TV. I sit on the couch and watch tv WAY too much. I need to get more active during my time off. I guess this one should include the computer too. I can waste hours and hours on this thing doing nothing! I need to shut everything off and go to the gym, go outside, clean, take my kids places where we can do things together, basically just get off my butt!

3. Snacking. I am allowed snacks, but I find myself eating sometimes just because I'm bored or craving something or want something sweet or crunchy. I need to refocus and ONLY eat when I'm hungry.

4. Not exercising. Lately I've been sick so it's harder to do, but in general I need to get moving more. I did really well for several months, but got out of the routine and haven't been able to get back on it regularly.

I just want to improve my self physically, mentally, and emotionally. I'm working on it. Baby steps...

December 3 – Moment. Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors).

The first thing that comes to mind is the beach trip I took with my best friend. We were free. We just went away for a few days and enjoyed the beauty of the ocean. We sat in our beach chairs, raised our umbrellas, and closed our eyes. We listened to the waves crashing, the children laughing, and the seagulls umm making whatever sounds they make. It was so relaxing. We had no plans, no drama, no deadlines. We just did what we wanted to do. Ate when hungry. Went out on the town when we were ready. Laid on the beach for as long as we wanted. We even got tattoos (it was her first!) We just had a good time. We ate semi LC but didn't stress when we enjoyed ice cream or a hotdog and fries. It was uplifting. We've been the last 2 years (although the first time had problems because of others that went with us) and I already can't wait to go next year! 

LC Thanksgiving dinner

(Test from phone)
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Old blog

I was signing in earlier to post my previous post, and I accidentally put the wrong email address in the box. It logged me into a blog that I had started a few years ago. Very interesting to read now. If I can figure out how to merge the two, I'll do that, but for now if you want to see it here is the address...

Old Blog

It reminded me that I NEED to stick with eating right. Otherwise I'll just end up regaining the weight I have lost and have to start over. I definitely do not want to do that! I have bad days sometimes and fell off the wagon for a little while, but overall I think it's going to stick this time. Yay!! =)

EDIT... wooo hooo!!! I imported the old blog so now the posts are on this one. Sweet! Just click the "older posts" link and there they are, just before the first one this year. Gotta love technology!

Depression

Being sick for going on 6 weeks has been taking a toll on me emotionally along with physically. Even though I'm taking my Paxil, being cooped up in the house all the time and not having the energy to do anything is depressing. Last night I was pretty down. I really don't feel that I'm ready to go back to work because I won't be able to do my job efficiently. I don't want to depend on others all night, even though I know my wonderful co-workers would help me if they could. That being said... I went to occupational health on Tuesday to see if they would clear me to go back to work. I walked in the room and the nurse asked me what was going on. When I started talking (squeaking might be more accurate) the nurse backed up, actually OPENED the door and stood half in and half out of the room while she listened! Does that exude confidence that I should work around very sick patients?? Well, long story short, she told me that she couldn't clear me until my Dr. did. I went home, half relieved, half disappointed, and the spiraling downward started. I'm worried about my health and my finances. I applied for short term disability and hope to be approved quickly and receive the money soon. Please cross your fingers, pray, wish on a falling star, etc. for me.

Today I do feel a little better. My husband is very supportive which helps a LOT. If he was giving me a hard time, I would not be so hmmm upbeat? about this situation. We are both worried about bills and Christmas for the girls, but there isn't much I can do about it. All we can do is have hope that this will end soon.

As far as eating goes, I've been doing well. Hubby made chili tonight, which is higher carb than I'm comfy with, but since I'm technically on maintenance, I can have beans occasionally. I try not to do that much because of blood sugar issues, but I felt ok with having a bowl tonight. I didn't eat crackers with it, which is a HUGE accomplishment for me. I love crackers in chili and soup. I need to find a low carb option for the rare occasions when I have either of those dishes. Hmmm. Any ideas?

Exercise still is lacking. I really want to try to gain strength and endurance, but it hasn't happened yet. I hope to get some walking in tomorrow. I keep saying that every day and haven't done it yet, but I'm doing the best I can. No.. that's not true. Sometimes I'd just rather be lazy (and warm) and not get out there and just do it. I'm gonna try again tomorrow. Even if I can only make one lap around the parking lot, or 10 minutes on the treadmill (depending on where I go) that's better than nothing. What are you doing tomorrow to reach your goals?

Until later...

Thanksgiving

So how did your Thanksgiving go? I did very well. I made a totally low carb meal (with mashed potatoes and Stove Top for the hubby) and it was delicious! The highest carb item I made was a yam/potato fluff kinda thing. Here was my menu:

Turkey with homemade gravy
Sausage and herb "dressing"
Homemade green bean casserole
Homemade cranberries
Yam/ potato fluff
Mock and cheese
Pumpkin pie

My daughters especially liked the dressing. So did I. I think I'm going to make that a regular side dish from now on. I was able to eat a whole plate and not have the bloated, blah, sleepy feeling afterward. It was fabulous! I found most of these recipes online. Google is a wonderful thing. =) If you ever have a craving for something, just search... keeping in mind that your idea of low carb may be different than somebody else's. You can always adapt the recipe too. Add or subtract ingredients. For example, I added green peppers to the dressing. The recipe I was using didn't call for it, but I remembered seeing it in a different recipe. The yam dish was a combination of a couple recipes too.

I was worried about how my meal would turn out. I feared that I would feel like I was missing out, but I was surprisingly pleased with the results. My favorite part of the meal has always been dressing, whether it was Stove Top or homemade, I love it. I think I get that from my uncle. He always got his own big bowl of it. I sure do miss him. Anyway.. the recipe I made today didn't have any bread in it, but it was delicious. Next time I'm gonna double it so I can have lots of leftovers. I also found a recipe for LC bread to use in dressing. I may try that sometime too. My point to this rambling is that although I LOVE my mom's dressing, I have found a new one to love and I don't feel deprived in any way. There are so many recipes out there that you can make as alternatives to your high carb favorites. Granted, some may not taste exactly the same, but maybe you will find a new favorite! The key to making a diet change work is to experiment. Try new foods, new recipes. Keep your mind open. I have tried veggies that I've never had before and found that I enjoy them. Even if you don't love something the first time, try cooking it in a different way and see if you like that. My girls love the way I cook cabbage, but don't like the way my mom does. Mix things up. Keep it interesting and you won't get bored. ;-)

As far as my sickness goes.. I'm still not great. The hubby and I went to the store to get the ingredients for dinner and just walking around the store totally wore me out and made me start coughing. Ugh. I need to work on getting my strength back. (My voice would be nice too!) I might try to go to the gym and walk slowly on the treadmill tomorrow. I don't want to push it, but maybe a little bit of exercise that I can control would be good. Might try a cycle around the weight machines too. I don't know what else to do. My job can be crazy sometimes and I run around like a chicken with my head cut off. I'm not able to do that right now, but I HAVE to get back to work! Gonna give the light exercise thing a shot and see what happens. Wish me luck!

Falling down

I am still sick. Two trips to the Dr. A trip to the ED. Lots of different meds. I am still sick. I don't feel like I'm ever going to get better. Yes, I do feel somewhat better than when this first started. I don't have the head congestion or upset stomach. My cough is better, but still there. My throat still hurts occasionally, but not constantly, but my voice is still gone. Four weeks of not having a voice is really getting old. I still get short of breath if I'm too active. I'm very fatigued and weak. The PA in the ED gave me Advair. It causes me to tremble/shake. It kind of scares me, but if it will help me get over this, it's worth it. I've missed a lot of work. I feel like my coworkers think I'm being a slacker, even though they can hear and see that I'm not well. All of this has caused me to feel depressed. I'm still taking my Paxil, but being cooped up in the house and not feeling well is getting to me. I just want to get back to normal. My eating has slipped some. I can't seem to get back to 100% low carb. I'm working on it. Hopefully I can make it to work tomorrow. Maybe if I can handle my usual schedule, even if not totally, I will start to feel more upbeat. More normal. I just need some normal.

My life is not exciting, but I enjoy it. I have great family, friends, and coworkers. I appreciate all the concern they have given me over the past several weeks. I feel like I am letting them down because I can't pull my own weight. My husband has been fantastic. He's cooked and taken me to the Dr and just taken care of me in general. He's worried about me and our finances, as am I. I HAVE to get better. I HAVE to work. There is no choice, but I can't physically handle 12 hours on my feet.. running around taking care of others. I can't speak loudly to the older patients that are hard of hearing. I'm so frustrated and worried. What if I never get better? What if there is a more serious reason that I'm still having problems? The chest xray came back negative so I'm assuming there's no cancerous mass in my lungs (which I was worried about) but what if something else is wrong? I feel like I'm on an episode of Mystery Diagnosis. The trip to the ED was good and bad. Good because it wasn't pneumonia, but I didn't really get any answers either. "You had an infection and it's just gonna take some time to get over. Get some rest and quit smoking. Rest your voice. Take this Advair and finish your antibiotics and use your Albuterol inhaler." Thanks. Sigh. Ok.. I'm done rambling and whining now. Hopefully my next post will be more positive.